Well, I found out that grants alone are not enough to get me through college, so I had to…  SIGH…  Apply for student loans.  In the end, I will owe approximately $40,000 when I graduate.

While I know I need this education to advance my career, I have to admit that I’m rather nervous and fearful.  I’ve never been in debt before, and with this economy, I pray I am able to eventually get off disability and find a steady job in the field that I’m working towards.  This is a serious new chapter in my life:  It could be one of the greatest things I’ve ever accomplished or one of the biggest financial mistakes of my life.

If you are in debt with student loans, please let me know how you are managing.  I need advice here!

Best wishes,
Shannon

In approximately another month, Reason 5 and Record 1.5 upgrades will be released!  I’m looking forward to this upgrade, especially Neptune, Record’s pitch correction tool.  I will FINALLY be able to sing to my own tracks for a change…  In correct pitch, no less!

Also, if the financial aid grants come through, I should be starting Full Sail University this autumn.  I will work towards a BS degree in Music Production.  The coursework is a dream-come-true for me.  Needless to say (but I will say it anyway) I will be VERY occupied with my college work, along with my music productions, but hopefully this will be a step in the right direction for me.  While I would LOVE to have the degree, it’s the education that I’m striving for, the knowledge to be a better music producer.  But it all rests on whether or not the grant money comes my way – It would be impossible to pay my way through this program out-of-pocket.

Finally, the future of this blog is in doubt.  Because I’ve been so busy with music, and especially if I enroll at Full Sail University, I will have little time to update this site…  But it’s not like I update it that often anyway, and most of the hits I get are my posts regarding Xanax – I think I feel the pulse of the nation by the hit stats I receive.  In the future, this URL might be the home of my business site, after I graduate and am prepared to get back into the workforce.  I hope to provide services such as music for television, film, and other media.

I will update again soon, once I have more information about my education plans and have the new upgrades for my music software.

Oh, and Paul Todaro, if you are reading this, leave a comment.  It’s creepy that you lurk around here and not leave a calling card. 

Best wishes to all!
Shannon

Sorry to have neglected my blog for so long, but I have been extremely busy composing and remixing music these days.  I now live on www.kompoz.com and www.indabamusic.com the past several weeks.  I think I finally had a breakthrough with my music – I now average a song a day!  That is unheard of for me.  Of course, not all of them are winners, but at least I’m completing music projects on a daily basis.

One of my songs, “Suicidal Days,” made it to an international PodCast – Another breakthrough.  (Other members who have collaborated on this song are Emmett Harris (lyrics), Marcelo Boratto (guitars), and Steven Gardner (vocals).  Sadly, the song didn’t fair as well on SoundClick, peaking at a pityful #237 on the charts.  But that hasn’t deterred me.  A video will be filmed for this song within the coming weeks.

Another song of mine, “My Broken Bones,” is now on CD as part of the RPM 2010 Challenge through Kompoz.

I have also join a project called “Destiny’s Fire.”  I will take part in a CD that should be released sometime in 2011.

On IndabaMusic, I have two remixes in competition, one being Peter Gabriel’s 1980 classic, “Games Without Frontiers.”  You can hear it at: http://www.indabamusic.com/submissions/show/20158  Voting begins July 1st – I would GREATLY appreciate your vote!

In non-music related news, I’m still suffering from my bipolar disorder.  While I usually stay in a depressive state, I have had episodes of “hypomania” – Not quite manic but a state of feeling significantly better than I should.  On the plus side, it’s made me much more productive, and I have accomplished quite a bit of projects and tasks.  However, after hypomania comes the depressive crash, which makes me practically immobile for a few days.  I have learned to live with this frustrating ebb-and-flow of emotions, but it is quite difficult to stay focused and maintain a “normal” life.  The cocktail of medications I take do help a lot, but it still isn’t perfect by a long shot.

I don’t know when I will update my blog again, but I do not plan to abandon it.  Unfortunately, it’s rather a low priority on my list of things to do, but I enjoy communicating with the public despite my basic shyness.

So for now, I will sign out.  Best wishes and blessings to all!  And look for me on Facebook – I check my newsfeed daily there.
Shannon

Well, I’ve been running low on my medications, so I’ve been rationing, taking my dose every other day.  The result?  Not so good…

Today has been a great day so far, but yesterday was pure Hell.  The worst part of withdrawing from Effexor for me is the VIVID nightmares!  They seem so much like reality at the time, and I wake up completely exhausted.

Also, instead of the steady stream of depression that I usually find myself in, I’ve had hypomanic episodes, which at first feel very refreshing, but I find myself in trouble once I come back down to my normal depressed self.  For example, I spent far too much money on music refills and loops for my DAW, and I’m suffering from financial issues as a result.

I do hope I can get my medication situation straightened out soon!  But I have learned one thing after suffering from severe depression for several years:  It is a temporary episode, and I will have better days if I wait long enough.  Today is an example of a great day.  I’ve worked on music at Kompoz and now am updating my blog for the first time in a month.

I hope to update this blog again soon regarding my music – I now have a song on a CD that will be released later in the month.  And I have an opportunity to have another song recorded for another CD.

If only I could be functional and productive every day instead of just passing phases, I would be able to get back on my feet and hopefully stay there!  Maybe in time…

If you have bipolar disorder, please feel free to comment with your experiences.  Let me know if you want me to post them publically or not.

Best wishes to all!
Shannon

Well, it’s Valentine’s Day, so I decided to mark this day as the FIRST day of no smoking.  I’ve stopped several times but always went back.  I REALLY need to quit.

So I’m going “cold turkey” and trying to fight the cravings.

I honestly don’t know if prayer works – I do keep an open mind though.  And I need all the strength to break this last unhealthy habit and get back to a healthier me.

If you are also trying to quit smoking, please contact me on this blog.  Maybe together we can fight this habit for good.

Best wishes to all!
Shannon

Brannon Hedgcoth from Kompoz has recognized one of my latest efforts, “Suicidal Days,” to put in a PodCast radio program.  I still don’t have all the details, but it’s the first time since I worked on the movie “Five Across the Eyes” that my work has been noticed.

I want to give a special thanks to all that have helped me:

Emmett Harris – Lyricist
Marcelo Boratto – Guitars
Steven Gardner – Vocals

Their work can also be found at www.kompoz.com.

In further news, I have also been tagged to help do the soundtrack to a local production of Paul Rudnick’s “I Hate Hamlet,” directed by Joe Powell.

So if I disappear from my blog again for a while, you will know what I’ve been doing.

Best wishes,
Shannon

I found a wonderful website that allows musicians, composers, and songwriters to collaborate over the Internet: www.kompoz.com

You can find me at: kompoz.com/member/shanm1971

Best wishes to all!
Shannon

I’ve been away from my blog while working on music for my new band, Gunslinger Saints.  We have enough material to release a CD, once our voices have gotten stronger and my mixing skills improve.

However, we are missing one key element: style.

So far, we have songs that are acoustic-folk, hip hop, techno, alternative, acoustechno, punk, and adult contemporary…  And one song that could barely pass as gospel, minus the lyrics.  There doesn’t seem to be a trend throughout our music.  Beck got away with it on “Odelay,” but at least there was a cohesive retro-sampled sound to his work.  We are missing that.

Do we need to re-style our music to fit one genre, or should we release a CD that transcends a single category?

As for fashion, we have a militant look to our band – If we can’t “wow” people with our music, at least we can always make them ill-at-ease with our presence.

At any rate, we are still making progress, and I will update this blog as we move along.  I will update the Musician’s Resources page later today.

Best wishes!
Shannon

Well, today is the day I FINALLY quit smoking.  A friend/former co-worker had a heart attack from smoking, a petite female friend of mine had a heart attack from smoking, my dentist has been diagnosed with COPD from smoking, and a former co-worker/acquaintance (Brian Lephew) died at the age of 34 from a heart-related condition brought on by smoking.  How many more signs and clues do I need to see a trend going on here??

Thanks to my medications, I’m actually enjoying living again for the first time in years, and I do not want to do anything to shorten my time here on planet Earth.  So I’m going to quit smoking today simply by not smoking.  No patches, no pills, just discipline and willpower, as much as I can muster.

I am not on an anti-smoker crusade, but if you do smoke I do encourage to think about quitting.  The benefits of quitting outweigh the pleasure of smoking in the long run.

Please take great care of yourself and have a long life!

Best wishes,
Shannon