The Joys of Bipolar Disorder

Greetings! Well, I’ve been running low on my medications, so I’ve been rationing, taking my dose every other day.  The result?  Not so good… Today has been a great day so far, but yesterday was pure Hell.  The worst part of withdrawing from Effexor for me is the VIVID nightmares!  They seem so much like [...]

My Treatment for Bipolar Disorder

Greetings! I thought I would take this moment to share how my treatment for atypical bipolar disorder is progressing. I’ve tried MANY medications, including Lithium and Depakote, but none seem to have helped my suicidal thoughts and severe mood swings. After many trial-and-errors, my psychiatrist came upon a combination of medications that have made a [...]

Living in the Dark: A Bipolar Day

Another Lost Day Today – September 27 – one of my closest friends got married. I, of course, was invited to come, and I, of course, did not show up. I’ve been on the verge of tears the past few days but am unable to cry. Fatigue has overtaken me. I’m lethargic and everything appears [...]

Suriving Mental Illness – Table of Contents

This series of post are about my personal battle with bipolar disorder and abuse.  I am hoping that sharing this information with others could possibly help those who feel alone. Since I posted an overwhelming amount of posts on the subject of mental illness, I thought a table of contents would be useful: Surviving Mental [...]

Surviving Mental Illness – Today

Today I’ve written this series of postings about my mental health well over a year ago. At the time, I felt like Depakote was the answer to my prayers. Sadly, it wasn’t. Neither was Lithium. I’m taking Lexapro, Abilify, and a cocktail of medications to help combat anxiety.  They help, but I still have a [...]

Surviving Mental Illness – Winning the War?

Winning the War? Cutting Myself I don’t really remember how it began, but I took a razor and started slashing at my wrists. My intention wasn’t suicide, but if I had hit an artery, I wouldn’t have minded. My therapist referred to this action as a “dance with death.” He said it was a first [...]

Surviving Mental Illness – Pushed to the Edge

Pushed to the Edge With the exception of the terrorist attacks of 9/11/01, the years of 2000 and 2001 were basically status quo concerning my mental health. Even though father was ill, no one could tell it. He still looked 20 years younger than his age and seemed to be in excellent form. Work became [...]

Surviving Mental Illness – Bad Medicine

Bad Medicine For the sake of brevity, I am only going to highlight certain aspects of my life from 1993 to 1999. Also, I’ve been on so many medications, I don’t remember them all or the complete order in which I tried them. I went to both my family doctor and a state clinic for [...]

Surviving Mental Illness – 1993: Madness

1993: Madness Some Basic Facts Some facts about mental illnesses in general: Usually, mental illness will manifest itself in early adulthood (early 20s). There are several theories as to why that is. One belief is that the brain finishes growing during that age range and something doesn’t “connect” properly. There may or may not be [...]

Surviving Mental Illness – 1993: The Crash

1993: The Crash I was racing along smoothly through January and February, but by the beginning of March things started shifting. The first scary incident was a “field trip” to a newsroom in Knoxville for one of my journalism classes. It was a rainy day, and the bus driver drove horribly fast and recklessly. This [...]