Obsession: Being the Target

I have recounted briefly my long obsession with “Janice.” Now, I will tell you what it is like to be obsessed by someone you casually know.

I will call the woman in question “Judy.”

An Innocent Beginning

Judy worked on the same floor as I did at a community college. We were in different departments, but we were located close together.

At first, Judy came to me as a friend asking for advice regarding a man she in which she was interested. She didn’t know if there was any possible chance that a relationship could grow out of it.

Just a note: Judy was still married at the time of this narrative.

I knew the man she was referring to and told her honestly that I didn’t think it would work out for her. He wasn’t the type for commitment, and with Judy being married I didn’t see any good to come from it.

Judy felt comfortable confiding in me, and I enjoyed her friendship at first. We would argue politics, gossip, and have serious talks about my absenteeism due to my bipolar condition and about life in general.

But then something shifted. It wasn’t instant but something was changing in our friendship.

Unwanted Attention

I cannot remember the first time I became aware of her interest in me. I’ve been known to be rather dense when – rarely – women show affection towards me. I just assume that they are just being friendly and innocent in their flirting.

But one day, Judy’s flirting became a bit too obvious to ignore. She suggested quite plainly that she wanted us to kiss. I tried playing it off as a joke, but I was really uncomfortable during this situation.

And it wasn’t a one-time incident. She would tell me what flavor of lip gloss she was wearing at the time, and hinting heavily that we kiss.

Nervous Situation

After this, the was a noticeable tension in the air between us. She would become upset with me if I didn’t stop by to see her in her office. She would come to my office and sit and talk at awkward times.

My boss noticed it and warned me to be careful. Even he sensed that something was amiss.

She would leave me cartoons, news articles, magazine articles, little gifts, and other items on a daily basis. She would be alarmed when I didn’t come into work. And even when our offices were moved further apart she would still appear.

From Friends to Foes

When I was absent again from work and wouldn’t respond to her e-mails, she tracked down my brother and tried to get him to have me contact her. He just simply ignored her message.

I wanted us to remain friends and only friends, but I could feel her pressuring me for more attention than I was willing to give her. I found myself starting to avoid her whenever I could and would only talk to her to placate her for a while. It was an uneasy environment now developing between us.

Once I got fired from my job, I didn’t want to have contact with her any longer. When I had to go back to my office to retrieve my items, I tried to avoid her with no success. As I was about to leave, she waited for me at the front door. I just told her that I needed space. I could sense her anger and hurt. I felt like I was in awkward position.

Later, I thought it was finally over. But then she responded to my earlier blog on Yahoo. I finally had to put her on ignore and filter all my e-mails with her name and address.

Hopefully Forgotten

Since then, I heard Judy got divorced and was now involved with some other man. I know the former to be true, but I hope the latter is also accurate. I hope I was just a blip on the radar and that Judy has forgotten me. I always assume I’m “out-of-sight-out-of-mind,” but I’m still keeping my guard up.

Luckily, that hasn’t stopped me from starting my own blog site in my own name. I suppose this will be the final test to see if it’s really over.